Traffic cones, and other pathetic things everyone steals as a rite of passage


STEALING is wrong. That said, here are five things you, and absolutely everyone else, stole at some point while you were growing up.

Pint glasses

Looking to soak your jacket pocket with tepid beer? Then why not steal a pint glass from a pub? Sure, there’s a slight thrill in knowing you’ve saved perhaps a quid not having to buy your own pint glasses at home, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that your favourite coat will now forever smell of stale Grolsch.

Traffic cones

Despite being a well-worn cliche about pissed lads and students, at some point in your youth you drunkenly approached a building site and stole a traffic cone. It was only after waking up the next day that you realised you’d no desire to own a dirty, metre-high lump of orange plastic and getting rid of it would, frankly, be a logistical nightmare.

Shopping trolley

Why do people climb mountains? Because they’re there. Why do we explore space? Because it’s there. Why do we feel compelled when we’re 17 and pissed to nick a trolley from your local Sainsbury’s and awkwardly use it to ride down a hill with your mates? It’s because you’re basically Neil Armstrong.

Election posters

After a particularly heavy night, there’s no greater thrill than waking up the next morning to see a semi-familiar face in the bed beside you. Yes, you’ve pulled alright – pulled the campaign poster of a local Lib Dem councillor running for parliament off a telegraph pole, and fallen asleep, drooling kebab sauce on it.

Cutlery

Coming to at 8am to discover that your pockets are full of teaspoons is a confusing experience. But whether you were at the house party of a friend, an enemy or a random kid, some insane teenage drive in your brain compelled you to swipe something. Then you had the fun of guiltily handing them back in school on Monday.



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